Depression… the monster in your closet…

Depression. The mere word sounds like a death sentence.  People tend to refuse to admit that they suffer with it.  It’s an ugly cloud that hangs over one for endless days and nights, almost like the bottomless pit that we cannot crawl out of.

It’s a dark lonely place.  The world’s as empty and hollow as world can be when depression comes to take its hold on you.  Negative emotions run deep, a normal fun-filled day is replaced with anxiety, hopelessness, worthlessness, guilt, irritability, restlessness and these emotions linger like a bad smell from one day to the next, to the next and to the next….

A person whose life is being plagued with this ‘illness’ loses interest in activities that once brought them joy. One experiences loss of appetite or at times quite the opposite, where one may indulge in bouts of overeating, concentration levels dissipate, excessive sleeping becomes a pattern, fatigue and loss of energy become the demons in your life.  In fact, physical symptoms such as aches, pains or digestive problems may also be present. To many, life suddenly isn’t worth living anymore as suicide is contemplation.  There is no control!

From a personal point of view, for me depression is as sudden and abrupt a shock as bursting into tears simply because I’ve burnt my fried eggs on the cooker, or allowing my mind to phase out when someone is talking to me.  It’s as cold as pushing away those arms that want to hug me and wants to make me feel that little bit better.  It’s the constant worrying  that nothing is ever going to be right and this evil monster that has sprung out of my closet to attack me,is just going to drain me further and further, sucking my life force from me until there is only my shadow left.  Invisible fingers point accusingly at my face at all times, confidence trickles down to an all time low, and to find a source of happiness in anything is non-existent.  Ambition suddenly becomes a thing of the past and defeat becomes a laughing devil on my shoulder.

But no matter how deep the pit, or how treacherous the waters are, that one helping hand that holds its way out to you, can make the difference between feeling alive or thinking you cease to exist.  To take up the offer of help from that outreached hand is the choice that could expedite your recovery process and pull you out of the well.  It’s form can be manifested in many ways; a faith, a belief, a friend, a lover, a parent or a child.  I strongly believe in that helping hand which will be there to pull you away from the darkness. And the lining will shine through from behind those dark clouds.

Depression’s attack will pass through like a tornado which will rip its way into your mind and soul and threaten a lot of damage.  The secret of success however, will be to ensure that the damage doesn’t leave an indelible mark. To be able to protect yourself from the detrimental after shock effects of the emotional tornado whirling in your life and remain standing is a fight against the battle itself.  Finally, to admit that yes, you have been a victim to depression, is that giant leap towards a road to recovery and the feeling will be equivalent to that of having a giant phantom elephant being removed from your shoulders.

And as JK Rowling confidently states in this quote, never be ashamed of it. Be proud to have been able to pull yourself out of it.  And be a stronger and better person as a result.

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2 Comments

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