Something someone said to me this weekend prompted me to do a quick entry on this topic. I just had to voice my thoughts on this one as it has been a bee in my bonnet for far too long!
When something goes wrong in our lives (and I’m generally referring to the Asian population as I don’t think other cultures believe in it. I may be wrong of course), why is it that we almost immediately pass the blame to the “Evil Eye” as though it’s some kind of physical entity waiting in the bowels of hell to be called upon, waiting to make a judgment on our lives and attack our happiness with a punishment for having it all?
For years I have heard the phrase “nazar lag jayegi” or in other words “the evil eye will get you” to warn me to keep low, undercover and not allow the world to see how happy I may be. To heed warning from those jealous eyes and ill thoughts that are waiting to curse me and wish me ill fortune.
And when the first thing that can go horribly wrong in my life, I automatically start to wonder, did the ‘Evil Eye’ point its treacherous hand toward me today and banish the happiness from my existence, when in reality, the underlying reasons are more believable.
I’ve been pondering on this thought all weekend and have finally come to a conclusion. It’s my conclusion and obviously I’m not out there to change any opinions or beliefs. But I feel that perhaps I’ve been giving Mr ‘Evil Eye’ too much credit which he doesn’t deserve.
If a relationship has been blooming in my life and suddenly it goes horribly wrong, I fail to believe that ‘The Evil Eye’ of other people had anything to do with this. Surely my relationship fails because either myself or the other person in the relationship decide that there are differences to have caused a rift. A fight, an argument, a misunderstanding, ill feelings, nasty exchange of words or something more sinister has to be the reason for the failure. Its far too easy for me to blame another so-called entity that may or may not even exist rather than blame myself for something that went wrong with a relationship in my life. If I was responsible to get myself into a relation when it was the right thing to do at a given part in my life, then equally, I have the choice to move away if it mutates to something horrible.
Equally, being famous, rich, happy, loved, all the things in life that become the envy of many a person can all be my advantages in life one minute but vanish the next. Yet if I am responsible for being a part of the contentment that these things bring, then surely I need to take responsibility for it if it were to go wrong. I could easily lose it all if I were to neglect the management of such good fortunes that would have enlightened my life. If I’m a millionaire one minute due to my hard work but a pauper the next because I have gambled it all away, where does the role of the ‘Evil Eye’ come in this? In plain terms, it’s my own bloody fault. Isn’t it?
Sometimes other forces determine the way our lives are heading in the direction that they are. Our destiny, our karmas, our sins and our repentance. Our faith in a higher power, our dedication and hard work or our laziness and neglect. If my skin is glowing one minute and beauty radiates from my pores because I’m looking after myself then that is down to me. But if I start to neglect my health, become careless about my well-being and the same radiance changes to dark circles under the eyes and diminished glows, the first thing that I’m told is ‘you see, nazar lag gayi (the evil eye has attacked)’ and I can easily blame all those people around me whose envy, I am led to believe, are the culprits of my downfall. How easy is that I ask? I’m taking the credit of all the good work but am not prepared to take the credit of the bad times. Hmmmmm
We are all predestined with lives that have been decided for us. Things will happen as they were meant to happen. Misfortunes go hand in hand with happy times. There may not always be a balance and we may end up with more trying times than good. Or perhaps we may have a better life than others. It’s a gamble.Yet I think we need to shake off this superstitious belief system that has been following us for generations. To learn to own up to responsibility of our actions and admitting that something can go wrong due to our errors or inattentiveness is the way to walk through this journey we call life. To blame the world for our downfall is far too easy an escape from the demons of our own inner faults!!!!
Sorry Mr. ‘Evil Eye’, I’m not sure you are as powerful as people have made you out to be. I ask you politely to stay where you belong, somewhere buried deep down the many lifetimes of superstitious beliefs or myths. I’m happy to walk down the road of life with the responsibility of my actions on my shoulders. I wont be blaming you for bringing any disasters along the way anymore.
Now curses and witchcraft. Well that can be another topic another day…..